If dick were a commodity at the Johannesburg Stock Exchange,
it would be a share as desirable as a vagina after birth. Don’t get me wrong,
shareholders continue increasing their influence in the industry.
Men have this uncanny ability to put up an intelligent
façade and yet still do the darndest things. Dick is so freely available that
it’s even given to the dead and infants, without consent obviously. Recently
there was the tragic gang rape and murder of Anene Booysen and it brought the
public to a state of realisation. The realisation that shit like that happens.
What I’m interested in discussing is when did dick become so useless that it
has to be given under duress, with multiple participants and then proceed to
murder? It’s disgusting.
Every man knows how difficult it is to turn down pussy.
Thankfully, and unfortunately at the same time, women are aware of this. The bank
accounts of many a grown ass man have been depleted to negative figures because
of the pursuit of vagina. Women need to understand that men cheat only because
they are given the opportunity. You can’t cheat if no one else wants to fuck
you. And we generous gentlemen just give the dick away like we’re Oprah Winfrey
hosting a Christmas special. Grown ass men are publicising on social networks
how they would do unforgivable things to merely toss the salad of any ample
bootied woman that crosses the street. It’s all rather sad actually. I mean,
I’d be crying if women were not so emotionally invested in the idea of having a
man.
Ever since that Egyptian goddess Cleopatra, the pussy index
has been known for trading at above market value and it has held firm. The
screenmunch and thirst trap era, coupled with the inevitable “Ain’t nobody got
time fo dat!” has secured their [missionary] position. As men (the competitive
variety), we need to increase our stock price. This can only be achieved by
ignoring the pussy altogether. Do not buy women drinks, pursue your non-sexual
fantasies and leave before the club closes. Not unlike Facebook, I may be
talking to a wall here. As humans, we are not designed, only taught, to not act
on our desires. But in one’s quest for self-actualisation, all desires are
recognised, according to Mazlow’s Heirachy of Needs. Please do not throw obvious bones at these women otherwise they will never let you forget. If you have to throw bones, make sure they are inception bones that cannot be used against you in the court of law. By the way, to 'throw bones' is to mack, spade or just basically letting someone know that you like them.
