Rise Of The Geeks

Like it or not, social media has given the unassuming kid a second chance. Those that were once coerced to be introverted have now found a new platform with which express themselves, and it’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. The beauty is that it’s inside, in the mind. People are now publicising their thoughts for the world to see and everybody has the time to give a damn. Back in school, the quirky kid with the shirt tucked in a little too tightly never got a chance to put his message across freely, until recently, and in such a vociferous manner.

So here we are, the geeks are finally getting the freaks in the most unprecedented manner. But what’s the difference between the popular kids offline and the popular one’s online? The mind. Sure, we have profile pictures, display pictures and avatars, but what really gets the people going is your particular brand of perspective on... everything really. A lot of popularity in the real world is attributed to aesthetic appeal. You can’t even fault it, as Drake the philosopher says “If you ain’t got it, you ain’t got, the theory is brilliant”. This is why you can’t even be surprised that the most influential people offline are not heavily invested online, because it dilutes their presence if their smarts don’t match their appearance. In some cases, you get to see the inner workings of a troubled mind, and it belongs to who you thought was always cool, calm and collected. Sometimes you have the rare occurrence where the cool guy with street cred is also proficient with the QWERTY keyboard. However, more often than not on social media, people are attracted to a person’s intrinsic beauty rather than their outward appearance.

A lot of talk, and sometimes stigma, circles around starting relationships with people you meet online. I’m not entirely sure when meeting people became so complicated that it became judged, but you can’t help but feel connections with people that are on your wavelength. If you want to meet those people, go for it. I think it beats befriending people purely on the basis of being your friend’s friend. Online, people are a lot more open, direct and free. They no longer have to worry about anyone invading their personal space unless they invite them. People become so comfortable with each other that they overshare or become emotionally invested in the most trivial matters.

Is making friendships or any kind of relationship online any less real than making them at a house party, mall or back seat of a taxi? I certainly don’t think so. Yes, we have catfish and people who pretend to be something they’re not, but all these facades are dispelled by the first meeting.  All the nerdy, awkward children are now adored by the masses. In the marathon of life, they just got a second wind. By association, it has filtered through to the real world. The cast of Big Bang Theory is more likely to get laid than the cast of Blue Mountain State, whether they are online or not. Smart is the new beautiful, yet still in the eye of the beholder. Maybe I didn’t see this in the past thanks to my naivety and being wet behind ears, or perhaps it was never mentioned out loud or posted all over the internet, but people are less shallow than I thought. The playing fields have been levelled in a way where jocks and mean girls are now required to incorporate some level of depth in their personalities... or not, they can continue to adorn the fashionable fabrics of misters Hardy, Abercrombie and Fitch.

One distinct disadvantage that has arisen since the advent of social media is the level of judgement that has

increased at an exponential rate, as was showcased after the ellipsis in the previous paragraph. Cyber bullies have contributed to the suicides of several people that they never even met. This is where a level of discretion needs to observed. If you take everything seriously, you will have a very bad time. However, if something is repeated often enough and convincingly enough, you will subconsciously take it to heart. Either way, I’ve always thought suicide was for the emotionally bankrupt and cowardice extremists. Just please, before you make any rash decisions, look at the bigger picture.

No longer are people subjected to conduct themselves to the whims of the genetically gifted few. Creativity within well articulated prose now has a relevant place in the world. Never has it been so cool to be strange. This is the rise of the planet of the geeks. 

Town Ships

Town: verb 1. To participate in sexual intercourse without the use of protection, usually that of a condom.

Other forms: towning, townable, towntalk, towner, townist.

Eons ago, when the indigenous people of South Africa were able to freely roam the vast and abundant pastures of its land, ignorance was the greatest bliss. Strandloopers would play with the Koi-San, Xhosas would play with sticks, and Zulus would play with their foreskin. All the land was our’s, as far as the eye could see (you still had it even if you were Ray Charles to the distribution of land). During these times, towning was not an unpopular choice. It was the only means of having, and/or enjoying sex.

Skip forward to 1652 and Jan van Riebeeck, the sailing Dutchman, arrives at what would soon be called The Cape Colony. He introduced us to Bibles and mirrors, and forced upon us what his society perceived as right and not-so-right.  Interestingly enough, it seems as though we indoctrinated the Bible and mirror religion whole-heartedly, and with it, lost our blissful ignorance. Who would have thought that grown men would be taking selfies (pictures of themselves) today?

We could no longer just town anyone we wanted in the hope of them not knowing how beautiful they were or without them bringing up the moral or ethical values of casual coitus. We lost a large amount of our land and were banished to the outskirts of major cities (commonly known as townships) and Lesotho, because let’s face it, Lesotho is just a shorter way of saying Drakensburg Mountains.

In steps father Democracy in his knight and shining armour in 1994, expected to fix the injustices perpetrated in South Africa’s troubled past. President Nelson Mandela, being a symbol of reason and forgiveness, does not exact revenge on all white women and children. Instead, he promises equality for all and happily ever afters. Land reform policies follow suit, without much success. But there’s also a new kid on the block that’s been brewing for a decade or so, AIDS. And boy, it’s a killer.

Gone are the days where our forefathers could just happily town and reproduce without fear of child support payments or death. We can no longer town without consequences. South Africa now has one of the largest proportion of infected populations in the world. On top of all this, WE STILL DON’T HAVE OUR LAND BACK. I think it’s time. It has been 19 years and father Democracy is taking his own sweet time. I’m not saying we revolt against every white-owned establishment across the land. There just isn’t enough good land left for all that, and I’m not about that war life. I propose we take to the sea.

Money acquired from corrupt government tenders would raise enough money to build massive yachts. Almost like cruise ships, like the ones that have golf courses and extra-marital affairs on them. They would set anchor at every major city across South Africa, even makeshift ones in Gauteng and Bloemfontein. These yachts will be free to board by any indigenous South African citizen and will be equipped with the latest in medical technological devices. Scanners at boarding gates will detect any STDs instantaneously, in which case you are not allowed on board. Ankle bracelets will be fastened on every passenger, rendering them infertile for as long as they have it on. Milk, peanuts and bananas will be on the house while everything else will be generously subsidised.  

Cabins will have numbers. These numbers, instead of increasing in sequence, will state how many people can comfortably have sex in that cabin. Naturally there will be a lot of twos, but if patrons are feeling extra feisty they can opt for rooms numbered 3 to 8. The homosexuals will have their own wing, on top, or the bottom. Passengers will be able to disembark at any time they wish by just walking off the yacht, and handing in the ankle bracelet.

I would like to call these the new, and improved, Town Ships. No longer places of civil unrest and xenophobia, but vessels of unrestrained, yet consensual towning. Without consequences beyond that of a bit of chafing and classy walks of shame from exquisite yachts. Towning without consequences... it's beautiful, like drinking without hangovers.